40-Year Run (cont’d)(5)


 

Stroll and Ponder

 

FROG.  My youth, through high school.  Prepare to take a tech writing job, out of town.  To move to a trailer in Wewa and let the house go.  Begin packing, selling furniture.

 

GI.  Two hitches in USAF, with year at junior college in between.  No job yet.  Boxing up my stack.  Calling antique dealers.  See that Stroll and Ponder (in progress), Synthesis (projected), and Three Screenplays (projected) form a metaseries, Breakthrough, the first half of the meta-metaseries To Be Determined.  Does that make Scufflin' and To Be Determined a meta-meta-metaseries?

 

STUDENT.  FSU and Tulane.  Undergraduate and postgraduate work in anthropology.  Digging Indian middens, burial mounds, temple mounds, and historic graveyards, slave quarters, stockades.  Put The Full Magnolia up for sale.  Maybe the azaleas and the dogwoods will offset the carpet and the paint job. 

 

APPRENTICE.  The first nine novels and my chronicle.  Working as a potter's helper, laborer, clerk, janitor, and technical writer.  Begin driving to Tallahassee, looking for any job, anywhere.  Write--if you find work.  File new unemployment claim.  Awarded $250/week for 14 weeks.  Like finding money in the street.  Maybe the worm has turned.  Sell furniture at estate sale.

 

JOURNEYMAN.  The years in Delray Beach, before and after working for IBM.  Writing Ten-Year Run and Deadlock.  James King hires a bass player, to replace his wife, and lets Owen go, with no notice, no unemployment, no severance pay, no golden handshake.  At least he didn't put him out on the side of the road, 100 miles from his broke-down car, with the change in his pocket, like the Gillis Brothers did.  Welcome to the fellowship of itinerant mendicants, Owen.  BROKE-DICK DOGS of the world, unite!  You have nothing to lose but your chains.  Your bonds.  As Paul said to the Ephesians.  I remember driving Owen up to South of the Border, at the North Carolina line, to join up with James King, thinking that Owen was taken care of, for awhile, until the next DEBACLE.  It just came sooner than any of us expected, the old ROLLBACK.  Owen is a chip off the old BLOCKHEAD.  They weren't getting any cherry and he isn't alone.  He is BUSHED.  We are all a bushed generation.  One of them leitmotifs, or themes.  Which see.

 

MASTER.  The years since moving to Panama City, culminating in my chef-d'oeuvre, Scufflin'.  Short.  But I wrote it in a week.  And Animal Farm was only 30,000 words.  You can see Orwell working out the ideas for it in his notes, letters to friends, book reviews, and "As I Please" columns in the Tribune.  The Gillis Brothers and David are Folk Masters 1994 at Wolf Trap and Janice signs with an agent for her bodice-rippers.

 

STAGE FOUR.  From the completion of Scufflin' to the present.  Into the maelstrom.  As nonchalant as a dead pig in the sunshine.  As I write, that looks like a geographic move and a new economic arrangement.  Foreclosure, eviction, crushing debt.  Having to deal with attorneys, realtors, insurance agents, and bill collectors.  All I need is a bicycle, a typewriter, and an FM radio.  All Brenda needs is her garden, her chickens, and to be left alone, in peace.  See that MASTER and STAGE FOUR combine, to form POST-MASTERPIECE NOVEL.  Sign a contract to sell the house for less than we owe.  We'll have to pay the second mortgage holder the difference.  Move into the trailer behind Granny Brown and Uncle Wayne.  Move Brenda's plants, her chickens.  My bicycle and my typewriter, my FM radio.  We're where we were eight years ago, or when we moved back from North Carolina, almost 20 years ago.  Or in with my mother 15 years ago.  Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.  Or, home is where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.

 

DOOLALLI TAP.  End STAGE FOUR, begin TRAILER LIFE.  Add TRAILER LIFE on to end of POST-MASTERPIECE NOVEL.  Owen gets a job with a road band, and flies to Nashville.  Balder moves into an apartment at the beach, where he has a summer job in an amusement park.  Brenda and I are as rich as students, for the first time since leaving Tulane, although we don't have a pot to piss in.  Or is it because we don't have a pot to piss in.  Owen flunks his try-out and flies home, where he hooks up with a hot picker and moves to Texas, we think.  Rename TRAILER LIFE DOOLALLI TAP.  It's such a relief to know what is wrong.  Delete Three Screenplays and add MYTHS AND TEXTS to list.  My breakthrough is complete.

 

Synthesis

 

BUSHED.  The first book is HIDDEN AGENDA.  120 pages.  The Proposal/Outline, Draft Manuscript, Preliminary Manuscript, and Key to an adventure story set in Tallahassee and Calhoun County.  A small book.  Small is beautiful.  None but a blockhead ever wrote for money, sex, revenge, or office politics.  The second book is GULF COAST BLUES.  39 pages.  About writing a book of the same name.  For Big Bend Books in Tallahassee.  Then comes DAILY TYPEWRITING.  67 pages.  The aftermath of sending out the first two parts of BUSHED.  In limbo, as I wait to hear.  Soldier on.  Cut bait, fish, clean up--it's all part of the process.  Be prepared.  Then when luck comes, you are ready.

 

Handbook

 

MYTHS AND TEXTS.  We move into the trailer behind Granny Brown and Uncle Wayne.  I respond to an issue of Stony Hills with Bukowski eulogies and a reminiscence of Raymond Carver by Curt Johnson.  The myth of the writer discovered in small presses who goes on to fame and fortune.  I drive Owen to Tennessee to join Doyle Lawson's bluegrass band.  Coming back through Penland, I learn Jack Neff has died.  Then, from Lynne Savitt, I learn Patrick Kelly has died.  They illustrated the covers of Open Book and Evil Genius.  Turned down for state grant in poetry.  Attend meetings of Literature Panel and send out open letters to all and sundry in reply.

 

MATERIAL CULTURE.  Enter first 30 pages in Jack Kerouac Literary Contest, fiction category.  Unload trophy house on Martin Lake, which we sold so the bank would not foreclose.  We will owe the IRS $15,158.13, Transamerica $7,620.61, my mother $8,000.  Owe Sears, VISA, and Blazer Finance another $8,000, $1,500 to a second VISA card.  Our assets are $4,000, including both vehicles.  My unemployment benefits run out.  The teevee dies, Brenda loses both contact lenses, needs new glasses, and I break a filling on a canine tooth, look like a derelict at job interviews, if I had a job interview.  Continue to send out feuilletons I call whistle sheets.  The Florida novel as a roman-feuilleton.  Or, sheet writing as a bully pulpit.  Contents:  houses, cars, bicycles, housewares, boots, hats, typewriters, radios, my stack.  Ask Lila Wallace-Reader's Digest Fund for $1 million grant to publish Culls.

 

FRIENDS.  See attorney about filing for bankruptcy.  Fill out worksheets.  Net worth -$37,065.09.  Monthly expenses $1854.  Monthly income $1282.  We are rich in friends.  Memories of 16 of them.  Balder working out to get in shape for Marine Corps boot camp in October, then music school, then a service band in New Orleans.

 

BAD HABITS.  Advise attorney to proceed.  Bad habits are cigarettes, beer, coffee, water, writing, worry.  I have quit cigarettes and beer.  Turned down by Lila Wallace-Reader's Digest Fund.

 

GARLIC POWER.  From age 50 to 55 I wrote 45 books.  I wrote 27 books in the last 18 months.  Too much.  Now to live in the moment and be grateful for what I have.  I have everything I need.  And I got it by simplifying, dropping out of the rat race, losing everything I thought I wanted.  I haven't felt a peace like this since the grand productive days.  File Chapter 7 bankruptcy.  Stop looking for a job until after the meeting with our creditors.  Then, a fresh start.  A new series.  A sort of a coda.

 

Poetry as a Way of Life

 

HOMESTEAD.  Writing Evil Genius in Pop Cason's house in Delray Beach.  Invite the State of Florida to participate in celebrating Jack Saunders Day, November 30, 1994.  The day I will complete writing 100 novels without selling a word to New York or Hollywood.  The Great American Florida Novel.  Sui generis.  Write "Doppelganger, or, Haint," for Original Ghost Story Contest.  Includes review of BLASTER:  The Blaster Al Ackerman Omnibus.

 

TORPOR.  See that HOMESTEAD and TORPOR form a Zed Double.  Writing Open Book through LEPROUS HOTDOG in Delray Beach and Panama City.  Many side trips to the keys.  A Dirt Writer, PE, PI Novel.  Find a sea bean, walking on the beach.  First one on Florida's Forgotten Coast.  An omen?

 

WILD GUITAR.  Sell Pop Cason's house and buy The Full Magnolia.  Brenda moves to Panama City.  Both of us downsized by our employers.  Owen drops out of high school and joins a bluegrass band.  Write books MOTET to OVERNIGHT SUCCESS.  Start calling the four books of Poetry as a Way of Life the Dirt Writer, PE, PI Quartet:  Living Hand-to-Mouth.  Move Jack Saunders Day ahead to October 15.  The Comédie humaine was 90 novels or novellas.  Begin to write book that turns into CRANK.  The first book of a new series, PI Novel.  Begin LAGNIAPPE.  The second book of PI Novel.  Poems and vignettes.

 

DOUBLE-OUGHT.  Writing Scufflin' and Write On!  The book begins with us both out of work.  Brenda teaches school, is laid off, goes to work in a prison, as an office automation specialist, after six more months of unemployment.  I work for IMI, am laid off, and am out of work for 19 months.  Lose house, move into trailer, declare bankruptcy.  Owen playing fiddle with Doyle Lawson.  Balder goes off to Marine Corps boot camp, then six months of music school, then a trumpet slot in the band in New Orleans.  Finish CRANK.  Finish Culls.  Celebrate Jack Saunders Day.  October 31, 1994.  Start STARTING OVER, the same day.  Like Anthony Trollope.  Sufficient unto the day is the typewriting thereof.  The typewriting, the job search, and the household chores.  The full magnolia.  I once had a house named The Full Magnolia.  Now I'm down to a trailer, Lazaretto.  To the stateroom of a trailer, Sans Souci.  As Peter Rowan says, "Good morning, Mr.  Timeclock,/ there's something you should know./It ain't me that needs the money,/it's just the people that I owe."

 


 

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