Point and Shoot, FL (YU)—
Q: Imagine pitching an agent a book that was too out there for a mainstream publisher.
A: You’re wasting stamps.
Q: You have to find the publisher who is looking for a book like that. Or he has to find you.
A: That’s what happened with Bukowski Never Did This: A Year in the Life of an Underground Writer and His Family.
I posted it on the worldwide web, daily, as I wrote it, and then a publisher reprinted it, as a book.
Q: So it can happen.
A: It did happen.
Q: Once in—how many years was it?
A: I don’t remember. It was 250 books. I had just finished my 250th book.
Q: So it will happen again. Around book 500.
A: I don’t think I’ll live that long.
Q: What book in CRITICAL FUDGE?
A: 380. But some of them are short.
Q: Balzac’s Comédie humaine was only 90 novels or novellas.
A: He didn’t have the Internet.
Q: Balzac Online. It turns a publisher’s bowels to ice water.
A: Not if you’re a publisher.
I’m my own police,
Harvey Keitel said, in City of
Q: What is Scrib Online? Imagine Balzac Online.
A: CRANK is slang for methamphetamine. Crank labs are a problem in
Q: You’re a one-man crank lab. Cranking out the books.
A: Online. Where nobody fucks with me.
Q: They can’t cut you off because they don’t know where you’re getting it.
A: Bill said that to his wife once.
Q: Costly mistake.
A: Turns out it was.
Marriage, it’s easy to make a mistake.
You want to get laid.
Q: There are other reasons to get married.
A: There are other reasons to become a writer.
It ain’t all science fiction conventions.
Q: Trekkies.
A: I’ve been to small press conferences.
SCRIB is about small press conferences.