104.  Imagining

 

I think of Provincetown.

I checked Tough Guys Don’t Dance

out of the library.  It’s in Potboilers.

Rented the movie.  I also checked out

The Spooky Art.  Norman Mailer on writing.

Sexual Dreams of an Everyday Househusband.

That’s a chapbook Roger Jackson published.

Mothers I’d like to fuck (MILF).

I keep threatening to trade Brenda in on

a 50-year-old woman, but she scoffs.

What 50-year-old woman would have me?

What will I do if a fellow fellow, a fellow

colonist, tries to seduce me?  What if she’s

a man?  Larry Rivers turned gay in his old age

because his possibilities were limited.

So did John Cheever.  Cross the bridge

when it collapses.  I haven’t won

the fellowship yet and already I am imagining.

Dreading.  Just dread one day at a time.

Drood.  Dan Simmons called a book Drood.

I called the lead character in Writing Sample

Hardhat Snood.  Am I crazy?  Is that nuts?

Are you balmy?  Are you daft?

I don’t know.  How would I know

if I was?  I might just be imagining it.

 


 

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