Q: Were there any jobs?
A: You know. Technical writer. For a defense contractor.
Q: You’ve done that.
A: Can you see me driving to the job interview in the Beatmobile.
Plus, they are defense contractors.
When Human Resources looks me up in a search engine, and gets a hit on The Daily Bulletin, and sees what I wrote about Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Condoleeza Rice, they blanch.
They turn white.
Then they start shaking.
They are so mad they shake.
Q: You have privacy issues.
A: A writer doesn’t have privacy.
A writer is an open book.
Might as well let it all hang out.
Q: Henry Miller said, “Don’t change a word. They’ll shit on you anyway—you might as well have your say.”
A: If you want to hide something from
Q: Molly Ivins can’t say that—can she?
A: I watched the Book Expo America on BookTV when Al Franken was on a panel with Molly Ivins and Bill O’Reilly, and Franken got up and started talking about Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right, and he was writing about Bill O’Reilly, and O’Reilly didn’t know, but Molly Ivins knew, and you could see the alarm on her face as the realization dawned on O’Reilly, and he is a large man, and he has a temper, and he is thin-skinned, believe it or not, and Franken is a small, mild-mannered man, an inoffensive man, and when the right get caught in a lie they just deny it, O’Reilly did know, he claimed Inside Edition won two Peabody awards, and they won one Polk award, after he left, no Peabody, and he claimed Franken made the claim that he claimed he won two Peabodys up, that Franken was the liar.
Q: They bluster and lie and accuse you of blustering and lying.
And they don’t get irony.
Irony is lost on them.
A: No sense of humor.