I think of Rust Hills, fiction editor for Esquire,
and Joy Williams, guidebook writer,
tooling down to the keys in their classic Mustang.

He called me an injustice collector. Idea being that
I'd rather fail than succeed because I want to feel like a victim.
I don't believe that. But how do you disprove it. That's like saying
you're not a racist. Once they call you Hitler it's all over.
Rational discussion has ended. It's name-calling. Labels.
Trend and Tradition in the Prehistory of the Eastern United States.
Current Issues in Linguistic Theory and Aspects of the Theory of Syntax.
Me and you are pals--huh, Spike? This is how the patronage
is handed out. The same, the same, the same, the same.
Imagine remembering books from college.
That's 40 years ago. Let go of it.
Write the book you're in.
I remember realizing
if I had to get a mentor
and be maze-bright about
applying for grants and fellowships
I couldn't do it. I didn't have it in me.
At a party once, Larry said, "I ONLY FUCK MY WIFE."
I knew immediately what he meant. The beautiful people
were looking at him like he was a disgusting drunk.