Q: So FLORIDA WRITER: A PI NOVEL is outstructional writing lessons.

A: Yes. The Jack Saunders School of Fiction Writing.

Will write for food, will write for free, will pay to write.

You need a room of your own and a social security income of $1,000 a month, less what they take out for Medicare.

You need to work for three months on a WPA Writers Project and save up enough money to take a month off and stay at the house and write a travel book.

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn was a picaresque.

Q: So was the Col. Bruce Hampton film, Outside Out: Outstructional Guitar Lessons.

A: I am basically frightened.

You need a wife and kids who love you and are willing to live poor so you can be an artist and you need a coterie of steadfast readers like the Buzzard Cult, or Benthos.

I once wrote three operating manuals for a dustpan dredge built in a shipyard in Moss Point, Mississippi.

You've got to float down the Mississippi River like Hunter S. Thompson and Ralph Steadman writing "The Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved" in Scanlan's Monthly, kicking off gonzo journalism.

Give your Press credentials to a wino.

Let me though, I'm a reporter.