Tuesday, December 29

 

Captive Audience

 

Black McGoon sprang to the easel of a morning,

the writing roaring in his head.  His problem wasn’t

getting started, it was shutting it off, when he had

a job to go to.  Last job he did okay.  He wrote three

training courses in three months, in PowerPoint.

With all the bells and whistles.  Now, he couldn’t even

get his mail in Microsoft Outlook.  He had to go to

AT&T Yahoo! to get it, and it was slow, because he had

a dial-up modem, and it took awhile to download the graphics

for the color advertisements.  It was like watching the Today show,

or Morning Joe.  He was a captive audience.  He was a slave to

the technology.  His possessions owned him, rather than

the reverse.  Rather than the opposite.

Turn off the TV.  Buy a book.

No, it doesn’t work that way.

Books are television.

The bookstore in the mall is the Gap

and the Internet is the bookstore in the mall.

I saw this on Oprah.  She was whooping like

a Tierra del Fuego native when a whale washed up.

Good news, God is love.  The commercial is the news.

Oral Roberts died.  One of the first television evangelists.

He raised the dead, you know.  He cured the sick.

He built a university with a medical center.

He said if you don’t donate God will take me.

Did you think he was bluffing?  You cheapskates.

His death is on your conscience.  You killed our Oral.

Now all we have left is Anal.  We’re going to

take it in the ass.  Get ready.  It’s going to hurt.

No salve for you you naughty boy.

 


 

Contents

Previous Page | Next Page

Home | About | Mail