Huh?
|
|
|
I sat at my booth at the book fair. People would walk up to the front of
my table. They would see my Buzzard Cult membership certificate, my Blaster Al drawing
of Jack the Raver with the stub of a pencil for a nose and slobber running down his
chin.
Nobody asked me what the Buzzard Cult was.
Nobody asked me
who Jack the Raver was.
Nobody asked me about the relation between Jack the
Raver Saunders and Art "Home" Brew, compare art brut.
Is
it me who's crazy? Or is it it? Dem? Sometimes I call the he or she reader
dem.
Patrick Simonelli
From: Jack Saunders
To: Patrick Simonelli
Subj: News
Bryan Hand is almost finished with the art.
He called today to ask about
my customary attire. Do I only wear white T-shirts?
I wear gimme T-shirts
in any color, as long as they are 100% cotton and XXL or larger. XL makes me look
like a blivet.
That's ten lb of shit in a five lb sack. If you don't know
what a blivet is.
Bryan said the owner of The Red Bar, Ollie, came over to
his studio today to talk business with him and saw what he was doing and asked what
it was. He recognized me as Balder's father in the painting.
Bryan told him,
and showed him some of my pamphlets, including The Wardrobe Malfunction Program-Related
Activities versus the Post-Rehearsal Decision to Have a Costume Reveal (compare
The Pill versus the Springhill Mine Disaster), including the cock ring, Yves
Cloquet raping Kiki, and my poem about Oprah, "The Swinette Picker of American
Letters."
The Swinette-Picker of American Letters
Brew sold a book,
he got a tour,
he was invited to appear
on The Oprah Winfrey Show,
when he came on set, she said,
"Do you know your fly is open
and your dick is hanging out?"
He said, "No, but if you hum a few bars
I'll try to play it for you," and whipped out
his swinette: two horsehairs stretched across
a hog's ass you pick with your teeth.
Ollie loved the pamphlets.
He said I could sell them at gift shop
at The Red Bar.
That will be a good outlet for Bukowski Never Did This.
Ollie didn't know I was a writer. All he knew was I was Owen and Balder's dad, and
Potter Brown's brother-in-law.
Potter, Duke, Owen, and Franko were the first
band to play at The Red Bar.
Ollie's a patron of the arts. From Olivier.
Stealin' Back To My Same Old Used To Be
Bryan Hand is working lunch at The Red Bar tomorrow. He's a waiter.
I
told Brenda I was going to drive over to Grayton Beach and pick up the cover art,
from Bryan.
She accused me of wanting to eat a seafood basket at the Seagrove
Village Market.
I told her I might take a sandwich with me, and eat it at
the beach.
She laughed.
I'm so obvious.