Saturday, November 14

Qualifying

Q: What qualifies you to write a book about Ernest Hemingway.

What authority do you have.

What are your credentials.

A: Hemingway was a serious craftsman, a dedicated artist, who strove to get at the truth, through writing. He wrote in many forms, and he investigated the effect different forms had on what he could and couldn't do.

It's not an easy thing to do. For the most part, he succeeded. Better than many.

What he wrote took its toll on him.

The fate of his work in the world took its toll.

He was a drinking alcoholic and he had physical injuries, trauma, especially to his head, that affected his mental state, and ability to function.

He battled depression. Suicide ran in his family.

Q: You are a dedicated artist, serious about the craft of writing. You have written in many forms. You investigate the effect of literary forms on what you can and cannot do.

The fate of your work in the world has taken its toll on you.

You drank alcoholically for 20 years, then quit for 20 years. So the drinking didn't wreck your marriage, screw up your kids, and interfere with your ability to write.

You have seen depression at first hand. You were married to a depressed person.

A: Part of the reason for her depression was being married to a drinking alcoholic. But she was depressed before we got married, she would have been depressed no matter who she married, the fact of being married and having children was depressing to her, and that's unavoidable, if you lead a typical life. Perhaps especially if you marry an artist. A failed artist. An unhappy and resentful man, a small person, in very scary circumstances, himself. Barely coping. Disappearing into his art for answers. Withdrawing.

I have read everything Hemingway wrote, I have read everything written about him, I have read a lot of books on writing and the writing life, most books on the subject I know about, and I feel more qualified to write about the subject than a magazine writer, like A. E. Hotchner or Mary Hemingway, a psychiatrist, a medial doctor, or a college professor, particularly one with academic tenure.

I was trained as an anthropologist and am self-taught as a writer. But I've written hammer and tongs for 38 years.

My book is more about me than it is about Hemingway.

I am trying to understand my own behavior, my own motives. What drove me.

To do what I have done is not rational.

And yet, it's not crazy. Another artist will understand it.

A perceptive reader who is not an artist will understand.

We all have the capability to be an artist in us. Not everyone develops it. Stays with it, through thin and thin.

It's a miracle I made it this far.

I feel fortunate to be where I am. Grateful.

But not undeserving.

I paid my dues.

I earned my shot.

Q: How many times have you read A Moveable Feast? Do you like the book?

A: I'd say I've read it four times.

I think it's his best book.

Every time I pick it up I am amazed at how good he was.

And yet, it's a deeply flawed book, a mean book, a small book, in some ways.

I am looking forward to reading the restored edition and the commentary by the editor.

I just reread Denis Brian's The True Gen, which I think is the best book about Hemingway to date.

I'd write a book like that if I could.

This is the book that I can write, in the circumstances I am in, no money to travel, no publisher to publish it, no contacts in the literary world, no credentials, but time to write it, and money to live on while I finish the job, and my experience as a long-time fellow writer to draw on.

I would find the pearl, Kerouac said.

He thought he would find the pearl.

He didn't.

He died a drunk.

Maybe I'll find it.

Maybe I won't.

Q: Maybe you'll die a drunk.

A: I hope not. It's not a pleasant death.

It's not a pleasant life.

Sober is better.


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