Jack Saunders and Brenda eat at the Seagrove Village Market. Brenda buys an ocean alphabet story book for Ella Blue, the first grandchild, and has Saunders change "M is for Minnow" to "M is for Mullet. The fish that leaps." Saunders has a rubber stamp of a mullet, which he can make appear to leap by turning it at the proper leaping angle. He gets the idea to write an alphabet for Ella, illustrated with screen captures off the Internet, jpg line-art files and snapshots from his point-and-shoot camera. He writes Florida Cracker: A Bestiary, and makes a pamphlet of it, with a color photograph of Billie Gaffrey's Dolphin Splash! dolphin Funky Flipper on the cover, and sends it out to his coterie of steadfast readers, The Buzzard Cult.

Multicultural isn't pan-cultural, if it excludes the Florida cracker. It gets a little grown-up for Ella Blue pretty soon, though. Outgrows its raisin'. Shoots for world literature.

Frida Kahlo is universal, Jack Saunders isn't even regional, he's local. However, genius loci translates spirit of a place. Or tutelary deity. Saunders is the tutelary deity of Parker, Florida. The Jack Saunders School of Fiction Writing. Will pay to write.

He gets such a good response to Florida Cracker he writers three more alphabets, which he publishes as pamphlets: Florida Native: A Gazetteer, Florida Writer: Kvetch, Kvetch, Kvetch, and Pascua Florida: Feast of Flowers.

Then he adapts them for the screen, by writing 100 Views of Parker, Florida: A Screenplay, like Charlie Kaufman adapting The Orchid Thief, in Adaptation.

Then he follows 100 Views of Parker, Florida: A Screenplay with Florida's Last Frontier: A Screenplay, like following Jean de Florette with Manon of the Spring.

Then he goes to see Picasso at the Lapin Agile at the Seaside Repertory Theater and writes Working Title: Play.

Four self-published pamphlets, two unproduced screenplays, and an unstaged play. It's no more unorthodox than Let Us Now Praise Famous Men, or John Dos Passos's U. S. A. Of course, it's no less unorthodox, either.

Think of a DVD with The Truth About Charlie on one side and Charade on the other, with commentary by the director, deleted scenes, and a script on CD-ROM, keyed to the scenes of the movie.

Think of the book being posted on the worldwide web, at roman-feuilleton.com, daily, as it's being written, with the author responding to reader comment in the book.

The book's there now, scattered about, as Saunders moves on to other writing projects. The novelist, or serial memoirist, as sous rature, or under erasure. They're trying to wash us away. The Florida cracker isn't a racist, he is under erasure. FLORIDA WRITER is a satire about that. If Saunders thought he was writing a book like The Bridges of Madison County he would panic, and fuck it up. He would have President Bush fucking a pretzel in an autoerotic asphyxiation (AEA) syndrome incident. He would call the Homeland Security Czar the Homeland über alles Security Czar. He would call the War on Totemism the War on Totoism, and say our future holds Nazis versus sand niggers, locked in carnal embrace, run, Toto, run. Jimmie Lee Sudduth painted a dog named Toto. With mud, colored clay, dog shit, Woodie says. Ain't no shit like dog shit.

Justin Lewis Price-Rees joined Dread Clampitt, on fiddle, then Duke Bardwell joined them, on bass. They cut two CDs, played regular gigs at The Red Bar and the Funky Blues Shack, in Destin, got booked at MagnoliaFest and SpringFest. They play around the Southeastern United States. They are poised for takeoff. Working regular, they just get tighter and tighter, musically, while staying loose, personally.

When Brew got laid off, he and Brenda bought the old home place in Point and Shoot from her brothers and sister.

Brew went on early, reduced-benefit social security, drew unemployment, and took a year's sabbatical.

Writing regular, he just got tighter and tighter, literarily, while staying loose, personally.

When Brew's sabbatical expired, he went to work, and worked for a year.

By now, Brew was up to 250 books.

LitVision Press announced they were going to publish a book, and issued a call for manuscripts. Brew submitted SEMIQUINCENTENNIAL, and started writing BUKOWSKI NEVER DID THIS, at The Daily Bulletin.

By the time Patrick Simonelli read SEMIQUINCENTENNIAL, Brew had finished writing BUKOWSKI NEVER DID THIS.

Simonelli had read it, as it was being written, at Brew's web page, and said actually, he'd rather publish BUKOWSKI NEVER DID THIS than SEMIQUINCENTENNIAL.

That was fine with Brew.

So LitVision Press was going to publish BUKOWSKI NEVER DID THIS.

booksALIVE 2005! invited Brew to attend the book fair and gave him a book-signing table in the Conference Center at Gulf Coast Community College.

Brew was invited to a homegrown powwow at Big Chief Visions' yard.

Brew heard about a small press conference in Tallahassee and signed up to attend it.

At booksALIVE 2005! he was invited to give a presentation to the Panama City Writers Association and to participate in the fall book festival held by the Panhandle Writers Guild.

He cashed in his annuity, quit his job, and gave himself an LDA grant.

Last ditch attempt.

He was a beet poet.

Beet poet doesn't pay much, needless to say, but what does a beet poet need? He had everything he needed, and if the money ran out, and he needed money, he'd take a job, to get money.