Militant Hick was the poster boy for marketplace censorship.

Write about that and send it to New York.

America didn't want READFEST 2006. It wanted A Million Little Pieces (Oprah's Book Club).

Upsize your Big Mac. You deserve a break today.

Upsize your SUV. To a Hummer.

Gastronomy has sunk into a desuetude. Postmodernism must be deconstructed.

Zzzzzt...wrong! I deconstruct postmodernism in READFEST 2006.

Watch new movies on your cell phone. Play video games on a split screen.

I lived through Nixon, Ford, Reagan, and two President Bushes, the second one twice. So far.

I don't know what's next, but I'm not looking forward to it.

It's not going to be pretty.