Point and Shoot, Florida (YU)--During Calendar Year 2006, Heap wrote the following books:

1. I DRIVE TO FAIRHOPE, ALABAMA
2. I DRIVE TO OJUS
3. FLORIDA WRITER: A LIFE UNDER ERASURE (SOUS RATURE)
4. I ACCUSE
5. POTTERFEST: A FESTSCHRIFT. POEMS IN HONOR OF POTTER BROWN
6. CAHIERS DE L'ENEMA: NOTES ON ENEMA VÉRITÉ, THE WORKING TITLE OF THE JACK SAUNDERS [SECRET PROJECT]
7. ADVENTURES IN THE UNDERGROUND
8. BOTCHED BOOK: DAMNED BY DOLLARS. THREE WEEKS IN THE LIFE OF AN UNDERGROUND WRITER
9. FIGHTING ROOSTERS: A HARD-BOILED APPRECIATION OF CHARLES WILLEFORD
10. IMMOBILIZED IN PARKER: THE RETIREMENT YEAR
11. ENOUGH ABOUT ME--HOW DID YOU LIKE MY BOOK: 139 TESTIMONIALS IN HONOR OF JACK SAUNDERS ON HIS 35TH ANNIVERSARY AS A WRITER
12. HEAP
13. THE BLACK MEMOIR
14. CUSTODIAN, OR, SECRET MASTER
15. HOUSEHUSBAND, OR, THE KING OF DAILY TYPEWRITING
16. THE HAPPIEST MAN ALIVE: A MONTH IN THE LIFE OF FLORIDA CHRONICLER CONTENDER RAZZ HEAP
17. TAKING STOCK, CATCHING UP, MOVING FORWARD: TWO WEEKS IN THE LIFE OF AN UNDERGROUND WRITER

He published the following pamphlets:

1. Yawp
2. No Oprah
3. Free Speech
4. Afterword
5. Poems Selected From POTTERFEST
6. The Correspondence Novel
7. 8 Short Reviews of BUSHED
8. Irascible "Razz" Heap, CN
9. What's My Line
10. If You Don't Live It, It Won't Come Out Your Horn: The Noir Life of Charles Willeford
11. From Treatment to Screenplay: A Case History
12. Flying the Freak Flag
13. Good Morning, Tri-States!
14. In the Throes of the Rodeo
15. Culls
16. 8 Short Reviews of THE CUSTODIAN FROM THE CRAZY-PLACE OUTBROKEN
17. 8 Short Reviews of TEAM WUPPIE: STILL SCUFFLIN' AFTER ALL THESE YEARS
18. 8 Short Reviews of CUSTODIAN, OR, SECRET MASTER
19. 8 Short Reviews of SEEDY AND STOVE-UP

He worked as a custodian for four months. During that time, he gave a presentation at the Gulf Coast Writers Conference and the Florida Noir Festival. He had a booth at Oktoberfest. And he appeared on The Morning Show to promote the Florida Noir Festival.

Before and after his custodian job, he made the following trips:

• To Fairhope, Alabama, to sign books at Page and Palette bookstore.
• To Delray Beach, to scout locations for a film.
• To Clewiston, Belle Glade, and Pahokee, for research. Side trip to Fisheating Creek.
• To booksALIVE 2006!, where he had a book-signing table.
• To a Joe Bell Memorial Pick-In in Andalusia, Alabama.
• To Fairhope, for the 54th annual Arts and Crafts Festival.
• To a poetry reading at The Gallery Above.
• To New York City for the ULA protest of the 50th anniversary of Howl celebration at Columbia University.
• To SpringFest, at Live Oak, where Dread Clampitt are headliners on the main stage, the last day.
• To Potterfest, at Seminole Lodge, up by Sneads.
• To Seaside, Grayton Beach, and Santa Rosa Beach, to interview people for a film.
• To Georgiana, Alabama, to the Hank Williams, Sr. Museum.
• To Ocean Springs, Mississippi, to visit the Walter Anderson Museum of Art.
• To a jazz festival, Jazz-by-the-Bay, where I am mistaken for a performer.
• To Magnolia Tree House, in Grayton Beach, for Thanksgiving with the children and grandchildren.
• To Florida's Forgotten Coast, where I stay at Wakulla Lodge.
• To Lake Seminole, where I stay at the Seminole Lodge and Marina.
• To Florida's Emerald Coast, on day trips.
• To Graytona Lodge, in Grayton Beach, for Christmas with the chidrem and grandchildren
• To Cerulean's, to hear The Saunders Brothers, with Kyle Ogle, Duke Bardwell, and Kenny Oliverio

During this year, he had one book published (in press). He got no advance, but will receive a royalty, after the book has recouped its publication cost.

He paid his air fare to New York, although the ULA provided a hotel room for him.

He paid for all the other trips he made, in his personally owned vehicle (POV).

He earned no income from writing. Well, say $150 from the sales of books and pamphlets.

His income as a custodian was $15,000 a year. He worked for four months, so he made $5,000. Before taxes.

He made $1,000 a month social security, less what they take out for Medicare.

He spent the last of the money in the annuity he rolled his pension over into when Suent Scientific laid him off (his LDA grant) and is now living on what's left of the money his mother left him when she died (his subgenius grant, or SUB fellowship).

He published all of the books he wrote, except one he was asked not to publish, at The Daily Bulletin, where they could be read, online, daily, as they were written, for free.

This cost him $19.95 a month, for the web site, and the cost of printer cartridges, paper, Zip disks, and so forth, which he would spend anyway.

The pamphlets cost $50 apiece to publish, because they had color covers.

The only other cost was the opportunity cost, of what I would have made if I were gainfully employed, instead of wasting my time, and money, writing books I couldn't sell.

I tried to sell every one of them but New York wouldn't even read the books in manuscript. They could tell from my query letter they weren't interested.

I thought I could make a custodian's income writing enema vérité, what you see on the end of the fork when you really look, but so far, my strategy has proved fruitless.

Brenda and I plan to drive to New Orleans Martin Luther King Day weekend to visit Larry and Hazel, take copies of the above-named manuscripts to them, for the archive, or shrine. I'm writing a book about that (in progress), called SQUIBS: TEAM WUPPIE DRIVE TO NEW ORLEANS.

So I wrote 17 books and got 50 pages into 18.

Not a bad year.