Point and Shoot, Florida (YU)--In Breakfast of Champions, when Kilgore Trout was invited to be an Honored Guest at the Midland City Arts Festival, and he wanted to take examples of his work, he had to go looking for copies of girlie magazines in X-rated bookstores, which was the only publisher he had been able to find for his science fiction novels. They had been printed in girlie magazines, for filler.

They would be printed inside girlie magazines with a lurid picture that bore no relation to the content of the story whatsoever.

The same thing happened to Heap.

If he wanted to take examples of his work somewhere, all he could find was self-published pamphlets, pages off the Internet he downloaded and printed out, or his ULA Literary All Star Trading Card, #2 Writer, with a book title printed on it, in Photopaint.

Titanomachia, for example, was about principalities and powers, the forces of darkness and the forces of light, spiritual wickedness in high places. Versus the lone writer, writing alone.

It was Heap rescuing Miss Weekiwachee from the Creature From the Black Lagoon.

Both fictional characters. All three fictional characters. It was just stories.

He might as well have shown himself rescuing Paulette Perlman and her Mermaid Mobile.

Heap and Paulette had booths across from each other at Oktoberfest.

Her credo was Mermaids Don't Cook.

Heap sat out in the blazing hot sun, making a spectacle of himself.

Would you buy a book from this man?

If he's any good, why aren't his books on television? Why aren't they at Books-A-Million?

Paulette didn't need rescuing. Paulette could take care of herself. You could buy her art on the Internet. Or at street shows and crafts fairs. Or in person, if you saw her van and asked her what her story was.