Oportunity Opportunity Officer (OOO)


In Tallahassee, at the Department of Commerce, there was an Equal Employment Opportunity (EEO) Officer. Old Folks called him the Oportunity Opportunity Officer (OOO) because he misspelled a lot of works, including oportunity.

Old Folks didn't think a person should be denied a job because he was black. He did think a college graduate who couldn't spell, had a secretary who couldn't spell, and didn't know his secretary couldn't spell any better than he could was spreading the opportunity a little thin.

Mostly what he did was mentor black females. That is, teach them how to game the system, like Clarence Thomas taught Anita Hill.

She says he wanted something in return, but that's just a low-tech lynching. He said/she said. That's white people trying to get black people to work against each other. Using one black person against another black person.

* * *


When Old Folks was two weeks shy of getting on permanent with the Department of Commerce, his bossman told him he was sorry, but he was going to have to let him go.

Old Folks's co-worker had given two weeks notice to take another job downstate. His boss had hired a replacement for him. Her boss had hired a replacement for her.

Then Old Folks's co-worker's new job had fallen through and he had rescinded his notice and asked for his old job back. Old Folks's bossman gave it to him.

He now had three people and two slots.

He could let Old Folks, as a probationary employee, go for no reason.

That's what he did.

He said, "It's the easiest for all concerned."

It wasn't the easiest for Old Folks. He filed a grievance.

A probationary employee can't file a grievance.

Old Folks filed one anyway.

No one would accept it.

Old Folks nailed it to the door of the cathedral, like Martin Luther with his 99 theses.

* * *


Old Folks went to see the EEO Officer. He told him what was happening.

The EEO Officer said if he wasn't being discriminated against because or race, sex, or age, there was nothing he could do.

Old Folks said he was being discriminated against because he rode a bike to work and had big half-moons of sweat under his arms when he got to work.

He didn't use underarm deodorant.

He was being discriminated against because he had B. O.

The EEO Officer said B. O. wasn't covered.

They were allowed to discriminate against someone with B. O.

Being discriminated against because you had B. O. wasn't grounds for an EEO complaint.

* * *


I think sometimes white people hire unqualified black people for one of two reasons.

One, they don't want to tell someone he is unqualified. If he accuses them of racism, what can they say?

And two, they want an unqualified black person in the job, to sabotage affirmative action. They want the most unqualified black they can find. So they can say, "You see...."

* * *


After Old Folks was let go by the Department of Commerce, he heard about a job with the press office at Florida A&M University, and applied.

He was turned down because he was white.

He was told that the job required a black person, because only a black person could relate to, or communicate with, the black student body and black alumni.

Old Folks said to the man who told him that, "If you applied for such a position at Florida State, and were told you had to be white, because only a white person could relate to, or communicate with the white student body and white alumni, what would you say?"

The man said, "That's different. Black people are used to operating in both white and black worlds, but white people aren't."

* * *


He believed it would be against the law for FSU to do that.

But not against the law for Florida A&M to do it.

* * *


I don't know if this illustrates the principle, "It all depends on whose ox is being gored," or, "What's mine is mine and what's yours is negotiable."

But it seems like a double standard, to me.


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